Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Heinous Christmas Decorations

Decorating things is a big deal for St. Louisans. We take shards of broken ceramic tile and mirrors, and turn them into men's room mosaics. We hang buses and broken airplanes off the tops of buildings.

You even see it when we're on the road. Travel to one of Missouri's campgrounds, and you can always tell the St. Louisans by the strings of colorful electric lights and pink flamingos surrounding their campsites. That's all fun stuff and makes us part of an extended community.

But sometimes, we go too far. This year's gotta-have yard decorations are the new, $299-$350 inflatable snow globes. They're showing up on front lawns all over St. Louis. Am I the only one who wants to pop one of these things with a giant poker? Giant puffy snow men, Santas on Harleys, reindeer scenes, they're are all great.

But snow globes are supposed to be miniature winter fantasies, sealed in a crystal ball. When they're 6 feet tall, undulating in the breeze, and emitting a constant hum from an electric fan, that's where I draw the line.

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