Tuesday, October 02, 2007

STL Trash Rising - New Dumpster and Alley Blog

With leaf raking season upon us, dumpster wars are about to get going, with neighbors vying for space in their yard waste dumpster. So today, in honor of our city's storied alley and dumpster tradition, STL Rising unveils a new blog: STL Trash Rising.

STL Trash Rising will take a light-hearted look at alley life and dumpsters. Got a funny alley or dumpster story? Tell it at STL Trash Rising!


Anonymous said...

Are u high?

Howard said...

This is a much needed addition to the internets. If everyone would pitch in and recycle their dumpster diatribes, garbage can controversies, neighborhood trash talk, etc. here, we will be on our way to a coveted Weirdest City honor.

Start submitting your entries for...

What's In The Dumpster Today?

I'll go first. This morning I saw an 8-track car stereo in my dumpster.

Weirdest Piece Of Trash Found This Week

I'l go first. Not this week but a couple of weeks ago, before my new dumpster, someone left lobster boil remains in my dumpster. The lobster heads had little drink umbrellas and nautical flags stuck in them.

Dumpster/Trash Can Mystery Theater

Has your dumpster been empty one minute and filled with flea-ridden mattresses the next? Has your trash can been in front of your house one minute and three blocks away the next? Have you come home from work to find an aluminum accordian or a giant plastic replica of the candy dish/ash tray you made in shop has replaced your trash can? It's OK. We're here for you. Vent.

Celebrity Trash Sightings

This might cover

1) National Enquirer, or similar tabloid, or pages of same, acquired from a sidewalk, street, public park*;

2) Porn magazines (left to your definition) which include interviews with a politician or former politician, or cartoons or jokes of a political nature, or pages of same, acquired from a sidewalk, street, public park*;

3) Snail Mail or printed email relating to a celebrity (left to your own definition) which blew out of a dumpster, garbage can, refuse truck and found its way to you;

4) Campaign literature for a candidate or ballot issue found trashing up a nabe in which the candidate was not running or not affected by the ballot issue;

5) Tips on what to do with unsolicited political campaign literature found in your snail mail box.

What's that smell?

This would cover items better described for their aroma than physical appearance.

I'll go first. There was something in the garden trash can last week that smelled like a mix of saurkraut and decomposing mouse.

Recycling Tips

I'll go first. Here's some ways to avoid the paper or plastic bag debate.

By using only public restrooms you never have to buy toilet paper & toilet bowl cleaner. If you don't buy, you don't have to decide between killing trees or killing birds and fish.

Only buy food at a grocery that you can carry in your hand and eat at the grocery. You don't need a bag if you're not taking anything home.

But odds are you can't afford to live entirely on grocery store and restaurant dining. You can reduce your consumerism and eat well if you have neighbors that you are friendly with.

You don't have to buy flour, sugar, milk, coffee, vanilla, eggs, good olive oil, bourbon, Frosted Flakes, etc., if you become friendly with your neighbors, carefully craft a schedule of when to mooch off each of them, and only "borrow" a little at a time from each.

Each time you move to a new neighborhood, which you will have to do often to maintain your green lifestyle, remember that your #1 priority is moving to a block with a lot of BBQ grills. Your summer dining needs are pretty much taken care of if you live on block with a lot of BBQing and you have the people person skills to either get invited to every family's BBQ or can manage to successfully walk into some uninvited. Summer will also be the season when you can take a break from public restrooms and instead enjoy the comforts of your neighbors' facilities.

When you go shopping for new clothes wear clothes you want to get rid of. Pay for the clothes, refuse a bag, go back to the dressing room and change into the new threads. Throw the old clothes in the trash. They are now the store's responsibility. You did your part, you recycled.

*use of gloves strongly recommended

Howard said...

Are you going to set up a trash blog or just pulling our legs here? I thought you were serious. I thought this was a great idea.

It would be nice to have a place for St. Louis trash talk. Someplace to gripe about garbage, brag about garbage, dream big about garbage.

Here's one of my garbage fantasies. I win the lottery and bring the Schult Trash People to DT St. Louis.

Rick Bonasch said...

I did, I did! It's linked on the right. The site is STL Trash Rising, and there's already a few posts over there.

Check it out:

STL Trash Rising